A to Z

I never wrote you a love song
but then, we were never in love.
It's a funny thing- to be sleeping with someone
or anyway, it was fun.

I never sent that last email
the one that went "yeah, I'm just ganna
hold my breath"
(but you get the idea).

I never told you the truth
though I was incredibly honest.
You praised me once for this
and it was the one compliment
I could accept.

Right up until I jumped ship
swam to shore- or better yet
swam to the depths again to remain
nameless among those other
fish in the sea.

It wasn't a proper goodbye but then,
it wasn't a proper introduction.

W hole

[note: this is not a new poem, it's actually from my teens at least. But I wanted to include it here because poetry is the sort of thing that you can always go back to and look at in different times in your life, and it will continue to be meaningful. Or anyway, that's what I thought when I came across this one.]

W hole

you were some vital organ
gone missing in those early
developmental stages and I
grew and grew accustomed to
the absence
unaware that the damage was to me
just a part of living

so that now I throw my worth down this hole
my whole life and my love
with no intentions of filling it
instead I stumble forward limbless
always looking behind me and wondering
how different things would be
if I had been complete

yes, still waiting to grow out of this
waiting for some correction of its injustice
while all the blame I could rightfully place
echoes all the way to the bottom
(it's the absence of you in me repeating)

My Block

All the dog walkers
porch smokers
those insane joggers
that you’ll see at
all hours

around the lakes
and no matter the weather
(which is what makes them seem crazy)
but then there’s me- on the same streets
and for similar reasons

All of the seasons
the regulars, the riff-raff
and the street bums
are a walking meditation
I have come to know them well

I circle back and start over
like this is the only way I know
how to think sometimes
My block is where the sidewalk ends
My head is where I’ve kept these things
that matter

I remember, I travel the distance
over and over
I have claimed it
It is my way home

I walk this block
like the back of my hand
with my headphones in
on auto-pilot
I like it

I live here

I love it here

My god, it's still February

Somehow it is the longest, shortest month. I am a little too ready for it to be spring already. I have reassigned myself in my role as a poet. I've decided that I am not much of a writer, really. I am more of a speaker. It matters how I said it. And yes, I may write these things down. But mainly, I am saying something. So much of my message is about the interaction, the connection-
How it comes across.
So, I just got Band of Horses, and i really dig this album. They sound a lot like The Shins (with some Sea Wolf mixed in). I really like it, cover art and all. I just wish it were longer. Unlike February.
I wish it was April already. Until then, good music and warm tea.
At least March has some interesting holidays.
Pi day
The only date that is also a sentence (March fourth)
8 year anniversary of the War.

well.

The Huff and Puff of my Frustration

(laughs) it's not fair.
If I were to punch you, as hard as I could, I would sprain my wrist. You would maybe notice as I reduced myself to tears, so instead I use my words and I'll tell you one thing: this mouth? never got me in a fight it didn't right-and-the-fuck get me back out of. You see, I said I use my words instead and it's been working (so far).

But, they're bailing out the banks. Those leeches and their fees, so the question then becomes how much is your money worth? Depends. How much have ya got? Not a lot? oh, that's okay baby girl. You too could still be president. Just get in line and we'll call you. And in the meantime, try and find a job worth a damn to do, because the rent is due, and you're not getting any younger. And these cards aren't exactly stacked in your favor. I said get a clue, and pay attention. Because the under current is ever changing in it's direction.
And you wanna stay ahead of that game, you want that spot on top of the food chain, don't ya? Everybody's so busy looking out for #1 and then they wonder why they feel so all alone. So many skin and bones while the top 1% clench their law enforcement fist so tight that you have the right to work until you die in this country, and that's about it. Now pay your bills and buy some shit. Check your credit score.

And it gets harder to ignore when they're coming right for ya, but these folks they just don't care anymore. You can change the channel if it bores ya. Me, I threw out my TV. People gotta tell me when I'm on it. People gotta explain the whole commercial, cause I never catch the reference. Man, I got better things to see. And I understand that time is precious. Mine is spent in reverence of this life, because I am in love with it, I am in love with it.

(Deep breath) I need to learn how to slow down and appreciate this moment. This one, cause it's all there is. And then I'm off again, forgetting. And I'm looking up again, and I'm searching for the lines that I had memorized, so that I, so that, well, so that I could think about something else.
Sometimes I feel helpless. Like I have a needle but no thread, so it's no good. I can only manage the damage. Sometimes I am the subject of this charade and sometimes I am just the contents, that is displayed as a series of statistics, and yes I am sometimes Y.
So what of it? And what difference does it make when you die?

Well, I want a government that practices something like the "take a penny, leave a penny" system. And there will come a day, but either way I'm for that rain or shine type of activism. The committed, who don't shed their tears but collect them, weaving them into meaningful tales. We tell each other stories of bravery and compassion to keep ourselves warm. To keep our hearts burning.

I'll tell you another thing: it's you, me and everybody. So don't go making eneimes, cause you can't win. Instead it's time to start talking to these strangers, our neighbors, it's time to start caring for each other again. Call it community, call it an occupation, call it the revolution if you wanna- just get on it! Ten years ago woulda been a good place to start
now will do.

Or, at least I think we can all agree that now is the very best we can do.

So come with me and take heart. I got some new year's resolutions and a good idea of where to start. I got some friends on the outside, the inside, the flipside and the best part is that you decide your place in this world. You decide. So let's start.

Because to build a better world, all you really gotta do... is your part.

Reportback- Stop the Grand Jury Witch Hunt

Ok, 17 degrees and 200+ people came out to the protest on Tues. That is a testiment to our spirit as a movement and our strength and solidarity as a community. I'm really glad to have been a part of this national demonstration against FBI repression and I know these #s are just #s but I was impressed. Over 50 cities held protests in solidarity with the 9 new subpoena recipients and in Mpls we had one hell of a presence. We chanted "From Minneapolis to the Middle East, we demand justice, we demand peace!" and "1,2,3,4 we don't want your bloody war 5,6,7,8 we will not cooperate!"

I was MCing the demo, and I got to do my poem An Open Letter to the FBI, which was awesome. We used a real sound system, so it was very clear (and very loud). Political theater. Soap boxing at it's finest! I really enjoyed the oppertunity to tell "the man" my bit, and the crowd loved it, and I am a happy activist. On the steps of the federal building I told the FBI to fuck off. It was pretty sweet.

It was also really good to see so many people there with us, and to have their support. There were a lot of faces I haven't seen at a protest in a while, and people I've never seen before. The original 9 "honor role" activists were all present and at one point they gathered for a picture. I thought about how far that picture would go. It's important to remember in all of this that standing in solidarity with the Palestinian people is what got us here in the first place. And as we consider our friends in Chicago we also consider our friends in Gaza and Colombia and Afghanistan and Iraq (I could go on). For our part, I think we did a good job of keeping the focus of this protest on the bigger picture and our role in that. End the war AND the witch hunt.

So, I don't know. Go team. If Minnesota can turn out a crowd of 200+ people in below freezing weather it's because we give a damn. We give a damn all year long. And I can't wait to start organzing summertime fun. I think a few out door concerts and ice cream socials are just what this campaign needs (you know what I mean?).

(Happy Holidays)

*

The

Tree was fake

And sprayed with

Some pine scent that sat

Musty on the much used bulbs

Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho

The electrical current running through which caused

The oil to warm until the whole plastic contraption reeked

Falalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Festively like a slow chemical burn, incense that come cheep

Magical memories of that Christmas tree 

O’X-mas 

O’X-mas 
Way to spoil the mood.